Local Harley Davidson enthusiast and internet blowhard Larry “Outlaw” Chester was killed last night in a side on collision with a Toyota Prius when he ran a red light in Columbus, Ohio. “I just don’t understand it,” his wife told the local newspaper, “He was so adamant that loud pipes save lives, it’s hard to believe he would die in a motorcycle accident. Well, I’m sure that’s what he was saying. It was so hard to hear him over the rumble of his freedom.”
Witnesses state that Chester had split lanes to pull up at the red light and revved his engine obnoxiously a few times before taking off. “Of course I heard him,” the shaken Prius driver told police on scene of the accident, “It was loud crunch and smashing sound mixed with a scream as he went over the top of my car.”
Neighbors payed tribute on local news all morning. “I’ll miss being woken up at 6.30 every morning by his unnecessary revving as he left for the office,” said a tearful neighbor, “It just made me feel more American, you know?”
“We’ll certainly never see a character like Larry again around here,” said another neighbor, “You don’t meet many loud, overweight, bearded white guys in their 50s these days with strong views on immigration. And he sure was fun on the golf course. Maybe he should have just taken the pipes off”
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